Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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