im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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