I think I died a long time ago.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and she was petting her beer can
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
