God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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