I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
