she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
