I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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