I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
