Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
