I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
