I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
