how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
