Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
