I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize