Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize