you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
