is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
