And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize