I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
