We won't sleep together?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
