We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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