Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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