That's intense
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
