Houston, we have a squirter
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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