I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize