your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
