She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
