Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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