we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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