he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this will be a night to untag.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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