Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
