all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Still dying that you shit outside
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
