You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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