I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You can't special order awesome
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
