you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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