these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
