Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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