Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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