Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
