Only a mothe r could love this liver
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
