I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
