Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
