Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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