omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
North Korea, Best Korea!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
