Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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