I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
