Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
