Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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