Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize