Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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