If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
