dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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