I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
