Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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