I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
