next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
