Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
