I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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