So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
