there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
