Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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