lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
