i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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