Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
