I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
