PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
