I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Randomize
