I forgot how hot balto sounded
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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