the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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