I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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