we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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