Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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