did you get engaged???
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize