so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hippo gnu deer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize