What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
